Wed, Aug 22, 2018

You are what you eat. And you cum what you eat too. No doubt you would have seen a change in the amount and quality of what flies out of your nob throughout the seasons, or have been told of such changes by a blinded, choking or spluttering female. When I was on detox my sperm quality rose and became more fruity as I drank only juices and water during the week. If you eat a diet of processed junk food it stands to reason your sperm, like you, will not be as healthy. You’ll cum junk jizz. And only McTrickles of it.

You might be able to supersize your lunch but you could supershrink your nuts if you keep it up. Your testicles need require a wide scope of vitamins and nutrients to form decent sperm cells in healthy doses. A lack of a certain vitamin or mineral could cause abnormal sperm cells to form or reduce production in your tadpole factory.

I don’t know about you but I care about my nuts! There has been a plunge in sperm counts in the west over the decades which is so far unmatched in Japan. They’ve industrialised and are subjected to similar levels of toxins and stresses to the west. What’s going on?

Well, the Japanese have one of the healthiest diets in the world and surely it’s no coincidence they tend to shoot a respectable load. Generally wholesome and slim, they typically shun junk food like fries, processed burgers and endless sugary drinks and snacks, the villain behind an epidemic of obesity in the west. There’s only a modest amount of fried food as they tend to bulk up on steamed rice or noodles. On the average Japanese bukkake volunteer’s menu you’ll find a much leaner diet, with modest amounts of red meat and of course, tonnes of fish, as well as fresh vegetables.

The result? Fewer heart attacks. And an army of healthy thrashing sperm cells!

Sushi model

 

 

Foods Foods for Better Sperm

1. DHA and Fatty Acids

Salmon, sardines, shrimps,  flaxseeds. DHA and other essential omega-3 fatty acids help improve blood flow around the body and so helps increase sexual function. It is associated with higher levels of fertility in men. Oily fish is the best source of omega-3 fatty acids. DHA is also the fat your brain needs to grow – perhaps this is where Japanese innovation and creativity comes from!

2. Zinc

Oysters, shellfish, beef, pumpkin seeds, chicken. Protein rich food are the best source of zinc, and it can be found in all red or white meats in good quantities. Oysters being a splendidly rich source. Maybe the aphrodisiac qualities of oysters were not overstated! Inadequate amounts of zinc an lead to low testosterone levels and reduced sperm count, so get your zinc for a bigger load.

3. Vitamin A

Carrots, liver, pumpkin, butter, kale, sweet potato. Vitamin A is essential for mobile and healthy sperm. Deficiencies in vitamin A in men results in poorer quality and deformed sperm, weakly meandering around aimlessly. Who wants to shoot a load of bedraggled and deranged sperm cells? A carrot may not only be used as an improvised dildo, it can help you out in your underpants too.

4. Vitamin C

Papaya, broccoli, asparagus, snow peas, cooked strawberries. Vitamin C has tonnes of roles in the body and one of them is sperm strength and motility. Vitamin C and vitamin A are often found in the same foods, fruits and vegetables. Vitamin C will also ensure you don’t get scurvy, surely off-putting for any girl you want to bukkake.

5. Folic Acid

Leafy green vegetables, spinach, beans, whole grains avocados. Dark green leafy vegetables are a good source of folic acid. If you have low levels of folic acid in your diet your sperm will have genetic abnormalities. Mutant sperm? Yikes! No one wants sperm that crawls into a sewer, mutates and starts murdering the neighbourhood. To increase your sperm count and viability get lots of dark green veggies and fruits.

 

Semen Simon

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